Extramarital affairs have been going on as long as people have been married, but now it’s more common for one married man to have an affair with another married woman.
Yes, many of these cases could have been avoided, but a lot of them tell us something about our society’s values, goals, and limits, especially when it comes to marriage.
If more people paid attention to their homes and partners, the number of cases would go down.
If more people learned about marriage before getting married, more people would be able to handle their marriages better.
Why, though, a married person?
Well, you probably know someone who is going through something similar in their own marriage and who can understand your pain, needs, and wants.
Besides that, someone who is married, like you, is more likely to be careful about keeping it quiet, which makes it safer.
You’re both married to other people, so you both know it’s not going to be something serious.
You hang out, get to know each other, have wild sex, and even help each other physically and emotionally, and then you go home.
The plan is to keep it that way, but emotions have a way of changing things.
You need the other thing more and more all of a sudden. More time, more attention, and more feelings make what used to be enough no longer be enough. A sense of entitlement starts to set in, jealousy follows, and with it comes anger that you can’t even admit to feeling. You’d be angry and jealous, but you wouldn’t be able to admit that you’re jealous.
What used to be a “safe place” is no longer that, and the person you thought was mature can’t do anything right.
Fights will happen, but you’re already too far in. Now you risk making mistakes that could ruin what’s left of your marriage, and you’ll be even more angry at your partner because they helped you leave.
No matter where you are in this process, you are not the first, and yes, it is hard.
You need help putting some space between you and them while you work on yourself and maybe your marriage.
It’s not simple, but it can be done. Send me a message inbox if this sounds like you or a version of you.
We hope it isn’t too late.